Dose of Prose
Do you enjoy waiting in a long line? I certainly don’t. In fact, according to many psychological studies, most people not only hate waiting, but they’re quite bad at it too. Why? Because waiting puts you in direct contact with the unknown. The unknown leads to anxiety and feeling powerless, which often results in irritation and annoyance.
In this chaotic world of instant gratification, dealing with any sort of waiting period in your life can be challenging. Whether you’re waiting to hear back from a job after lots of interviewing, or waiting to see changes in your body after weeks of clean eating and exercise…it’s safe to say that practicing patience is a lot easier said than done.
I have experienced several seasons of waiting in my life. Recently, I have been in this weird “in-between” stage of change coupled with stillness. In other words, it’s like I’ve been waiting in a long line, finally got to what I thought was the front of the line, only to find out that there’s even more lines ahead of me I need to patiently wait in.
Navigating the Unknown
It’s such a great feeling to finally achieve something you’ve been waiting for. However, sometimes things may appear better in your head than they are in real life. Another hard truth, is that when you do reach these goals that you have for yourself, you still might not feel satisfied. Ultimately you’re left on this never ending hamster wheel of wanting more and more and more.
In the last few months I’ve gone from a freelancer-night school-grad life schedule, to a 5 am-full-time-Wolf of Wall Street-corporate slave in the financial district schedule. How’s that for one extreme to the next? If you work a 9-5 already but are looking to go towards the freelance life, be sure to check out my post on The Truth About Freelancing.
Transitioning to my new schedule forced me to completely shift how I manage my time. I also became more aware of setting boundaries with myself and others. I was face-to-face with my flaws and had no choice but to improve poor habits and change certain aspects of my everyday lifestyle (i.e. sleeping, eating, workouts, etc.). This entire process was challenging to say the least, and quite frankly, I’m still navigating these turbulent times.
Why You Should Read This Blog Post
There were (and still are) many days where I thought to myself, will things get better? Am I making the right decision? Will this all be worth it? How long do I have to wait to get what I really want? Despite these periods of doubt, I still have managed to get through it all and come out on top. My life isn’t perfect and I still have a lot of learning and growing ahead of me. However, I do feel that I’m in a place where I can share some powerful mentalities, mantras and mindsets that have helped me to successfully embrace the wait. Hopefully after reading this post, you can too.
Today’s post is all about how to practice patience and enjoy that period between where you are and where you want to be. If you need a friendly reminder on how to turn lemons into lemonade, this post is for you. If you or someone you know is also experiencing a timeline that isn’t moving at the speed you want it to move, or if you’re just looking for some motivation with positive affirmations to incorporate into your daily life, keep on reading.
This is Only the Beginning
Whether it’s starting a new job, moving to a different state or having a baby, any changes in your life can be exciting but also come with their own unique challenges that you may not have experienced before. When I finished grad school and began my new job, I was so excited to start working. Although I love school and school has been a huge part of my life and identity, I was ready for the next chapter and was eager to jumpstart my career.
However, it was not that easy for me to just get up and start working. As I mentioned before, I had to make a lot of adjustments. In the past, I was accustomed to taking night classes, having a remote-entrepreneurial-freelance-flexible schedule, and I was eating/sleeping/working like a night owl. It took a while (and again, I’m still adjusting) to feel comfortable with a more rigid, full-time schedule. I’m sure those of you who have worked any job before know that when you’re the new kid on the block, you don’t have a ton of privileges and benefits at the start. Now that in of itself was a hard pill for me to swallow, but maybe I allowed my head to get too big or my expectations get too high after years of working for myself…another rant for another day. I also began to deal with things such as office politics, professional etiquette, navigating a white male dominated workplace as a black woman, and more. It took me a while for me to establish my own routine and not feel like my environment was taking control over me. For more routine tips and tricks, check out my posts on how to increase your productivity and simple ways to maintain a balanced lifestyle.
Seasons Change
Ultimately, I had to put a lot of systems in place in my personal life to make my work life easier. Along the way, however, I was definitely experiencing mental/physical exhaustion, stress and anxiety from letting go of old ways and even past freelance gigs that I no longer could do because of my new job. It made me question whether or not I was making a mistake in accepting this job in the first place, and if this job was the right fit for me. But oddly, at the same time, I felt this sense of comfort in the changes I was making in my life, because deep down, I knew they were changes for the better. Sometimes you have to let certain things go in order to make room for other things to come in.
@styleprose Sharing some of my work ourfits of the week! #youngprofessional #businesscasual #womeninfinance #ootdinspo ♬ KU LO SA (Edit) – KV
I could see a small light at the end of this dark tunnel I felt I was in. As I began to reflect on my life, I began to realize that I was slowly turning into my best self. Graduating was not the end of my education (I’ll always be a lifelong learner – who knows, I may go back to school and get another degree 😉) and the new job I started is only the beginning. All the changes and transitions I’m going through merely serve as a starting point that will open doors and pave the way for me in my career. Speaking of career, if you want to learn the 4 essential skills you need to succeed in any profession, give that post a read.
The great thing about seasons is that they change. I hope that my story is a testament to the fact that uncertain times are only temporary. Things really do get better with time. Whether you feel that everything is changing around you or nothing is happening at all, please remember: your waiting season is not the end, it is the beginning. Check out the quote below which further echos this point.
“Falling leaves don’t signify the end, but the beginning of a fruitful change.”
You Are Always on Time
I’ve always been someone who is in competition with my own self. I set these “timelines” (sometimes unrealistic) for when I’m “supposed” to achieve or accomplish certain things both in my personal and professional life. I like to keep it real and raw on my blog so I’m going to tell it like it is my friends. Here’s the truth: things don’t happen when you want them to, they happen when you need them to. Read that again.
Even if you think you’re a late bloomer compared to your friends, family or society, it’s important to remember that you are always on time for your own life. Keep this in mind the next time you feel behind. I found this affirmation to be extremely helpful when things in my life were moving at a glacial pace or when I saw many of my peers buying houses, getting married, having children, moving up in their careers, etc, while I could barely figure out how to take care of my own damn self lol. On a serious note though, instead of focusing on what I wasn’t doing or why things were taking so long to come to fruition, I kept reminding myself that I am always on time. Looking back on what I’ve experienced in my life so far, I still believe that to be true. Everything that has happened during my life, happened during the right time for me.
5×5 Rule
During periods of stillness in life, it’s easy for minor inconveniences to feel like major catastrophes. When nothing is going your way and you spill your cup of coffee or stub your toe, it can feel like the end of the world. Waiting can also be a time filled with a lot more noes than yeses. For example, you’re waiting to hear back from a job that you really want. Let’s say when you finally do hear back, you learn that you didn’t get the job. Are you going to be upset? Yes, WIll you feel defeated? Most definitely. Should you let it affect your determination to keep applying to other jobs? Absolutely not.
It can be difficult to persevere when facing adversity. Trust me, I know the feeling all too well. I am the queen of being told no, getting rejected, ignored and flying first class into struggle city. But what helps me to stay motivated is to remember the 5×5 rule. Meaning, if it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it. Let me be clear – this does NOT mean that your feelings don’t matter. You should feel your feelings…just don’t get stuck in them.
Be a Ship
At the end of the day, it’s important to realize that your life will never be like this again. That’s what makes the present moment so special. A lot of times when we’re in a waiting season, your mind can start to race. You may feel alone and overwhelmed with your own thoughts. Remember that your intuition is quiet and anxiety is loud. Don’t let those lack mindsets get the best of you.
Ships don’t sink because of water around them, ships sink because of water in them. Don’t allow what’s happening around you to get inside you and bring you down.
If you confidently believe that you’re always on time, remember this time is only the beginning and use the 5×5 rule, I can guarantee that your ability to be patient will drastically improve. I hope this post resonates and reaches the people it needs to reach. Whoever is reading this, embrace the wait. You’ll get to the front of the line in due time.
